I broke down

I dug out the scale and weighed in. No change. I was secretly hopeing to see a change...a decrease...while at the same time pretending it would not bother me in the least bit if there wasn't.

Considering all the work I've put in to working out and the decrease in calorie intake I just thought maybe just maybe there would some decrease...even just a minor one.

On the upside I took another picture. I don't know if it's my hopefull eyes but I think I see a difference. I can't pin point it but there is something. My plan is to take a picture every week... to have a visual, I see myslef every day after all.

At some point I'll post those pictures. I don't think I'm ready to do that now.

I dumped my scale.

The last couple of weeks I've been feeling kinda up and down.

Up because I'm working out, I'm feeling good, I'm making progress with my endurance (going on 25 minutes on the elliptical on level 7), I've increased how many push ups, squats and crunches I do (thanks to a couple of apps).

Down because I weighed in, when I shouldn't have, and have not seen any decrease on the scale since last week. I realized, I was being ruled by the scale. It dictated what mood I would be in and if I would continue working out. How could it not? It sits on my bathroom floor. I see it every time I walk in, each time tempting me saying "Come on, get on...let's see if you're work has paid off.". It taunts me and when ever I give in, which could be every single day, I either feel good because I've lost some weight or I feel devastated because it has increased every so slightly or after days of hard work it has not budged at all. It's ridiculous but it's the truth, how some inanimate object and rule over you so easily.

Today I dumped my scale. I didn't throw it away or anything, I just moved it to the back of my bedroom closet. It now lays against the back wall behind shoes. It is unreachable. I will have to go digging for it if I really want to weigh myself and I don't want to go digging. If it's not in the bathroom I will not be tempted to weigh myself in every time I go in there.

I think I'll take pictures and if at some point I see a significant difference, then I might go digging but for now I'll let my eyes judge how I'm doing.