At this point I have lost 6 pounds. I feel pretty good, I feel stronger, faster and fitter over all. Body image has a lot to do with how well I do over all. Today I did my normal routine of coming in to work, going to the gym etc... Today I had to run an errand, I had to leave my office and walk down 3 blocks to run this errand. I stopped by the ladies room for a quick pit stop and look over. I thought I looked good, better than before. I actually looked slimmer to myself. Then I was on my way.
As I walked down the street I got glimpses of reflections of myself in windows. My high spirits were shattered. I didn't look at all like how I felt or how I thought I looked back at the ladies room. I looked the same as I have always looked. Like an obese woman trying to look like she's not. my cloths clung to my curves, my thighs rubbing against each other as I walked. I looked the same, unchanged.
It is these glimpses that make you want to give up. It is these glances that make thoughts of being judged by others come into your mind. I notice people looking at me, men and women. Are they judging me? Do they feel sorry for me? Maybe this is why I should just keep my head down? I was fine until I saw myself in those windows. I felt good until I saw those reflections that do now reflect the woman inside of me and now the woman inside of me feels how those reflections look.
